I turned 30 this year.
And somewhere between the birthday cards and the “welcome to your thirties” memes, I found myself standing in front of my bathroom mirror, gently pulling the skin near my temples back, just to see. I didn’t even realize I was doing it at first. It was almost muscle memory. A soft little tug at my reflection. A question whispered not out loud but beneath the surface:
Would Botox make me feel more like myself? Or less?
That question stayed with me longer than I expected.
And not because I was dreading getting older. Quite the opposite. I’m proud of the woman I’ve become. I feel more rooted than I ever did in my twenties. More discerning. More whole. But as I looked ahead toward this new decade, I couldn’t shake the tension in my chest, the quiet dilemma so many women carry without ever really talking about it.
The choice between “aging gracefully” and “getting work done.”
Damned If You Do, Damned If You Don’t
It feels like no matter which side you land on, someone has an opinion. Aging naturally? “She’s let herself go.” Getting Botox? “She’s trying too hard.” There’s this impossible tightrope we’re expected to walk, one where we’re polished but not fake, youthful but not vain, effortless but somehow still perfect.
And I don’t know about you, but I’m exhausted.
There’s this pressure that hums in the background of so many women’s lives. Not just about Botox, but about all the invisible rules we’re told to follow.
Don’t look too old. But don’t look like you’re trying to look young. Wear sunscreen religiously. But also, how dare you have sun spots? Embrace your laugh lines. But smooth them out before you’re “too far gone.”
It’s dizzying.
The Mirror Is Not Neutral
The truth is, I don’t think this conversation is really about Botox at all. I think it’s about agency. About how women are taught from such a young age to view our bodies and our faces as something to be maintained. Managed. Tamed. We’re not just allowed to be – we’re expected to perform a version of beauty that is palatable, pleasing, and perpetually youthful.
And we internalize it. Sometimes without even realizing it.
I can’t count the number of women I’ve photographed who’ve said, “I just wish I looked a little fresher,” or “I don’t want to look tired.” These are brilliant, radiant women. Women with full lives, kind hearts, and meaningful stories. And still, there’s this undertone of not enoughness when it comes to how we’re expected to look.
I’ve felt it myself.
So… Did I Get Botox?
I’ll be honest with you, I thought about it. More than once.
I looked up providers. I read the reviews. I even asked a friend who swears by her injector to send me their info. And then I paused. Not because I was ashamed of wanting to try it, but because I wanted to be sure I was doing it for me.
Not because I felt pressured. Not because a stranger on TikTok called it “preventative.” Not because some magazine listed it as a “routine maintenance must-have.”
But because I was curious. Because it felt like something I wanted to explore. Because I deserved to choose what made me feel good in my skin, no explanations required.
That’s the thing. I don’t think choosing to get Botox or choosing to age naturally makes you more or less confident. I think confidence comes from knowing yourself. From owning your choices and honoring your body, whether that means embracing every wrinkle or booking your next appointment.
Let’s Stop Shaming Women for How They Show Up
We need to stop making women feel like they’re shallow for choosing cosmetic procedures, and stop acting like they’re letting themselves go if they don’t. It’s not empowering to trade one kind of judgment for another.
Some of the most grounded, radiant women I know have Botox. Some of the most grounded, radiant women I know don’t.
And both are valid. Both are worthy. Both are enough.
I think the more important question is: What helps you feel most at home in your body?
For me, that answer changes with the season. Sometimes it’s a good serum and an early bedtime. Sometimes it’s a fresh blowout or new jeans. Sometimes it’s simply letting myself be, no fixing, no fuss.
What I’ve Learned as I Enter This New Decade
Thirty has brought a kind of clarity I didn’t have before. I care a little less about what other people think and a little more about how I feel. I notice how much more energy I have when I’m not trying to meet impossible standards. I find beauty in places I used to overlook, like the curve of a shoulder, the quiet power in a laugh line, the way the light hits your skin just before sunset.
And maybe that’s what this whole journey is really about.
Not about whether or not we get Botox. But about choosing ourselves, again and again and again.
If You’ve Been Wrestling With the Decision…
Know this: you’re not alone. There’s no right or wrong answer here. Just your answer. Your body, your face, your rules.
You get to age how you want to. You get to define what beauty looks like for you.
And no matter what path you choose, you’re still worthy of being seen. Fully. Honestly. Tenderly.
That’s why I do what I do. Because I believe women deserve to feel beautiful in every season. Not because they look a certain way, but because they are.
And if you ever need a space to feel that again, I know a studio with natural light and quiet music and the kind of stillness that reminds you:
You are not behind. You are not too late. You are not falling apart. You are becoming.
And you’re doing it beautifully.
